On the First Day: We give thanks for the fresh turkey feast and its hot trimmings.
On the Second Day: We bless the cold turkey sandwiches, sloshy cranberry sauce and hard rolls.
On the Third Day: We praise the turkey pie and vintage mixed veggies.
On the Fourth Day: We thank the pilgrims for not serving bison that first time, or we'd be celebrating Thanksgiving until April.
On the Fifth Day: We gobble up cubed bird casserole and pray for a glimpse of a naked turkey carcass.
On the Sixth Day: We show gratitude (sort of) to the creative cook who slings cashews at the turkey and calls it Oriental.
On the Seventh Day: We forgive our forefathers and pass the turkey-nugget pizza.
On the Eighth Day: The word "vegetarian" keeps popping into our heads.
On the Ninth Day: We check our hair to make sure we're not beginning to sprout feathers.
On the Tenth Day: We hope that the wing meat kabobs catch fire under the broiler.
On the Eleventh Day: We smile over the creamed gizzard because the thigh bones are in sight.
On the Twelfth Day: We apologize for running out of turkey leftovers.
And everybody says Amen.